“Each of us dies with our work incomplete.”
–Maxim 5
Some
people have told me that they find this very short ministry
depressing. I guess I can see that. On the other hand, it’s a bit
like “things are always in the last place you look”, or “a
letter always reaches its destination”. Not as much of an absolute
tautology as those, in that one doesn’t generally look anywhere
else for something once they’ve found it (and no-one says it can’t
also be in the first place you look), and wherever a letter arrives
is, by definition, its destination (even if it isn’t the intended
destination).
No,
this one is, to me, extremely simple in essence and very complex in
implication. The essence is simply this: there is always more we
might have done. Every life that ends is a loss of someone who could
contribute, albeit some of that loss may have occurred earlier than
the point of death in the case of senescence or degenerative and/or
progressive illnesses. Whatever you do, whatever amazing work you
have done, you could always
have done more.
Does
that make you feel despondent, hopeless, maybe even a sense of
pre-emptive guilt? That’s where we get on to the complex
implication, which I more than half suspect is a fairly familiar idea
in some non-Christian faith traditions.
If
this is the same for everyone, why should you feel guilt, or indeed
anything negative? I’m not
talking about logic like “well, everyone jumps queues sometimes, so
I can feel fine about doing it”, because in that case ‘everyone’
is an exaggeration, and the ‘sometimes’ is a qualifier. Sometimes
people jump queues. Not everyone jumps queues all the time. But
everyone, everyone dies with more they could have done in the world.
Does
it mean, then, that you should make sure that you do as much as you
possibly can, leave as little as possible not done? Well, that’s
for each of us to decide, but I don’t think so. No,
what I feel this ministry is trying to give us – and I don’t
consider my view authoritative, as I’ve said several times before –
is actually acceptance.
You can’t do it all, however hard you try. You can’t fix
everything, you can’t save the world. Even if you work alone all
your life, your work will have to be carried on by someone else in
order to live on.
So
accept it. Accept that others can share the burden, accept that some
things will remain not done.
It’s
not easy, mind you. I accept it intellectually myself, and I think
reflecting on this since I first wrote it down has helped me accept
it on a deeper level, but there’s still a long way for
me to go. It’s a balance,
because if you take this too far you end up drifting into complacency
instead. But for some of us (yeah, guilty right here) letting go of
the sense that you need to do all the things is really important, but
really hard. Spending more time dwelling in the quiet and trying to
deepen your awareness of the Spirit (or whatever equivalent practice
those of other faiths might have) definitely helps, but the Spirit
isn’t going to do it all for us. We
can find many guides, but we
have to be our own driver of change.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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