The “physical act of love”, howsoever it
manifests and between whoever engages in it, should be judged on only
4 things:
- Does it flow from open honesty and common interest?
- Is it freely chosen by those involved, and mutually consented to, with all capable of true consent?
- Does it improve the well-being of all involved, providing a positive experience – or at least an honest attempt at one?
- Does it promote love?
By honesty, do not assume that all participants
must know everything about one another, only that no factor relevant
to the encounter is concealed.
When considering consent, do not look merely for
assent, but the capability and knowledge to truly understand and
appreciate that which is consented to, and the immediate capacity to
reach such a conclusion without interference – and freedom from
coercion, even that which is indirect.
Do not be too quick to presume you understand what
constitutes a positive experience for another person, and do not
judge harshly when honest attempts fail honestly.
Be open to forms and understandings of love that
you do not expect; love need not imply romance or attachment between
those that are involved in the act, but can encompass their approach
to the world subsequently. Where a person can cope with their life
better, love is promoted. Where they can better help others, love is
promoted. Love takes many forms.
Lastly, when considering any such judgement, ask
one further question…
Why are you judging, anyway?
Written November 2017
