Saturday 25 September 2021

Reflection on Maxim 6: Forgive, Don't Be Quick to Forget

Forgive as readily as you might, but do not be quick to forget.
Maxim 6
A close-up photograph of the upper left quarter of the face of an elephant, focussed on the eye.

This is one of the most straightforward of these short pieces of written ministry. Indeed, it is entirely plain on its face. The question of why it needs saying, however, is worth some examination and reflection.

A common saying in English is “forgive and forget”; I do not know if similar sentiments are expressed in other languages where, perhaps, they are not so alliterative. The idea is much the same as “let bygones be bygones”, which is to say, let things in the past stay in the past – what’s done is done. I think many see this as a fine ideal, but hard to put into practice. On closer examination, though, is it even good as an ideal?

The past is never truly gone. Each of us is formed of the sum of our experiences, and indeed the state of the whole world is determined by everything that has gone before. To understand where we are and where we are going, we must understand where we have been. George Santayana is often quoted as saying, among other variations, “those who do not read history are doomed to repeat it”, but the original is, in fact, “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”.

Each of our own lives is a series of experiences, each of which is a lesson – though we do not always learn it right, and sometimes it ends up as a bad lesson. As such, though we cannot help but forget things, remembering our experiences – pleasant or unpleasant – is one foundation of wisdom, and a help in our daily life. Even things we do not remember consciously guide our actions here and now.

So, when someone has wronged us, there is virtue in forgiving; such is taught by a great many faith traditions, and I believe it implicitly, though it is not always easy, nor even possible. But forgetting how they wronged us, acting as though it never happened? That is not wise.

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